You wouldn't download a gumball...
In this illegally-downloaded Gumball Machine, Ivan's pumping out Surplus from the dark web, rare & unique warehouse artifacts, and up to $500 in gift cards.
About the Sale
The Gumball Machine is simple and driven by pure chance. We select a bunch of items for clearance, publish the odds, and distribute them randomly as you order. No special requests for items are honored, it's all down to what the random number generator says...
In the end, everyone walks away a winner — we get to empty our shelves, and you get amazing deals and weird one-offs from our warehouse.
Please note that this is a clearance event. Returns are not accepted on Gumball orders.
A Special Note on Sizing & Condition
Sized Gumball items will be distributed randomly unless specifically stated otherwise in the description below. You are free to request certain sizes of items in your order notes but we can make no guarantees of availability.
Unless stated otherwise Gumball items are in either new or in Grade 1 (excellent) condition.
The Gumball Process
Below you will find the table of available items in the Gumball Machine, each with a corresponding percentile chance. Gumball Machine items are determined through the following RNG system — no requests for specific items are allowed.
Let’s say you have your eye on a particular item and want to calculate your chance of getting it, at least once, across multiple Gumballs. The formula for this is:
1 - ( 1 - % Chance) ^ (# of Chances)
If item A has a 20% chance per Gumball, and you purchase three Gumballs, here's how it would shake out. Your chance at item A is equal to:
1 - (1 - 0.20)^3 = 0.488
In other words, your chance at item A is 48.8%
Note: To use this formula you need to express the percentage chance in decimal form. The 20% chance in the formula above is written as "0.20" not "20."
Happy hunting and may RNGesus bless you!
"Rare" Items
| Item | Chance | Retail |
| Misc Safariland Glock Holsters | 1.09% | $60.00 |
| Evidence Locker Specials | 0.49% | $35.00 |
| Blem USGI Intermediate Sleeping Bag | 0.48% | $119.99 |
| Warehouse Artifact | 0.39% | Unknown |
| Blem British 'Nightshade' Dyed Field Shirt | 0.18% | $59.99 |
| New Production Pattern 83 Chest Rig - Nutria Brown | 0.10% | $159.99 |
| Pattern 84 Chest Rig - MultiCam Black | 0.10% | $219.99 |
| $50 Gift Card | 0.10% | $50.00 |
| USGI PCU Level 7 Cold Weather Pants Medium Regular | 0.10% | $69.99 |
| Blem USGI OCP Medium Rucksack | 0.08% | $229.99 |
| Blem British 'Green Zone' Dyed Field Shirt | 0.08% | $59.99 |
| Old Gen Police Trade-In Riot Helmet with Face Visor | 0.07% | $50.00 |
| Blem USGI CVC Bomber Jacket | 0.07% | $124.99 |
| Seer Damascus Riot Helmet with Steel Grid Face Visor | 0.05% | $147.99 |
| SureFire M88 Hellfighter Mount System | 0.03% | $599.99 |
| HEAT Rig, Your Size | 0.03% | $199.99 |
| 1 Year Free CONUS shipping | 0.03% | $150.00 |
| $100 Gift Card | 0.03% | $100.00 |
| Blem USGI N-3B Extreme Cold Weather Parka | 0.03% | $149.99 |
| An Entire Charcoal Grill | 0.02% | $139.99 |
| JSOC KAG DEVGRU Bump Helmet (RARE) | 0.02% | $50.00 |
| Blem USGI PCU Level 7 Extreme Cold Weather Parka | 0.02% | $169.99 |
| Battle-Damaged SADF Pattern 83 Battle Jacket | 0.02% | $229.99 |
| Battle-Damaged SADF Pattern 83 Chest Rig | 0.02% | $99.99 |
| Blem Austrian Alpine Hardshell Parka | 0.02% | $99.99 |
| USMC Peckham Polartec Thermal Fleece Pullover, Olive Drab, XL | 0.01% | $49.99 |
| Six-Pack RARE Goon Juice (Secure The Bag Registered Trademark) | 0.01% | So Much |
| Saint Gosling Prayer Candle (Peace Be Upon Him) | 0.01% | Priceless Relic |
| Ivan's USB (Hard Drive Cleaner :)) | 0.01% | $19.99 |
| Pumpkin Pie Straight To Your House Yummy Style | 0.01% | $19.99 |
| Ivan Feet Pics 😳🥵😳🥵😳🥵 | 0.05% | Thousands |
| The Original Deus Ex GOTY Windows 98 Edition | 0.01% | $34.99 |
| Uncle Ted's Big Ideas (The Book!) | 0.01% | Priceless :) |
| Afghan Large Pattern "Peace" Rug | 0.01% | $249.99 |
| Afghan Large Pattern War Rug | 0.01% | $299.99 |
| $500 Gift Card | 0.01% | $500.00 |
"Common" Items
| Item | Chance | Retail |
| Two Random Patches and One Random Sticker | 8.72% | $23.99 |
| Two-Pack Rare Ivan's Smoky Grads | 5.39% | $14.98 |
| $15 Gift Card | 4.41% | $15.00 |
| 1ft Gondola Plush | 4.39% | $34.99 |
| Sport-Tek Sweatpants | 4.23% | $24.99 |
| Two-Pack ALICE STANAG Pouch, Good Condition | 2.96% | $25.98 |
| ERGO 18-Slot FDE Rail Cover, 3 Pack | 2.94% | $23.97 |
| Safariland Mag Pouches | 2.86% | $30.00 |
| Two-Pack USGI Wool Glove Liners | 2.74% | $15.98 |
| Italian Forze Armate Shorts | 2.45% | $19.99 |
| Two-Pack USGI OCP PVS-14 Pouch Protective NVG Insert | 2.41% | $39.98 |
| French CCE Woodland Pullover Fleece Jacket | 1.96% | $24.99 |
| Bose Gentex Triport CVC PTT and Mic Set | 1.94% | $49.99 |
| Two-Pack Assorted USGI UCP Pouches | 1.90% | $13.99 |
| North American Rescue C.A.T. TQ Pouch Good | 1.76% | $14.99 |
| Two Pack 5 Rib P&S Ribbed Hand Rail Cover | 1.67% | $25.98 |
| Two-Pack ALICE STANAG Pouch, Excellent Condition | 1.57% | $29.98 |
| USGI ECWCS Thermal Undershirt Small | 1.57% | $19.99 |
| The Big Patch Hat | 1.55% | $39.99 |
| Four Pack Bundeswehr "Mannhose" PT Shorts | 1.47% | $23.96 |
| Blem USGI Self-Inflating Sleeping Mat | 1.47% | $39.99 |
| Three-Pack Salty USMC Coyote Brown STANAG Pouch | 1.47% | $15.46 |
| Two-Pack Unissued French "Madame Melter" PT Shorts | 1.37% | $15.98 |
| Two Pack Dark Chocolate Zibby Beans | 1.18% | $13.98 |
| Two Pack Ops-Core Gas Mask Chinstrap Extender | 1.18% | $23.98 |
| Blem USGI UCP Poncho Liner | 1.18% | $34.99 |
| Two-Pack Sport-Tek Small-Medium Men's Spectator Glove Liner | 1.18% | $15.92 |
| Blem USGI ESS Crossbow Glasses Kit | 1.14% | $39.99 |
| Two Pack 5 Rib KAC Ribbed Hand Rail Cover | 1.08% | $31.98 |
| MOLLE II 3L Camelbak® Hydration Carrier, OCP, Good Condition w/ Grimlocks | 1.08% | $19.99 |
| Two-Pack Bundeswehr Tropen Short Sleeve Shirt | 1.08% | $15.98 |
| Two Pack 9 Rib KAC Ribbed Hand Rail Cover | 0.98% | $39.98 |
| $25 Gift Card | 0.98% | $25.00 |
| Duty Faction Flag | 0.88% | $29.99 |
| Blem USMC MARPAT Shelter Half | 0.78% | $39.99 |
| Roof Korean Flag | 0.78% | $29.99 |
| USGI UCP Poncho Liner | 0.78% | $34.99 |
| Three-Pack Salty USMC Double-Single STANAG Mag Pouch | 0.69% | $12.96 |
| USGI ORC Industries Improved Combat Shelter, UCP (Serviceable) | 0.69% | $89.99 |
| STALKER Monolith Faction Flag | 0.69% | $29.99 |
| USMC Dump Pouch Coyote Brown Good | 0.69% | $16.99 |
| USGI Beret | 0.69% | $12.99 |
| Blem USGI ECW Fleece Jacket | 0.65% | $39.99 |
| Three-Pack Ivan's Fiery Grads | 0.61% | $19.47 |
| USGI Self-Inflating Sleeping Mat, Therm-A-Rest Alpha Grey Good | 0.59% | $39.99 |
| Two-Pack USGI Barracks Bags | 0.59% | $15.98 |
| Two-Pack Belgian Service Shirt | 0.59% | $31.98 |
| Two Pack Eagle Industries Khaki Canteen Pouch | 0.57% | $27.98 |
| STALKER Freedom Faction Flag | 0.49% | $29.99 |
| Two-Pack USGI Waterproof Clothing Bag Serviceable | 0.49% | $15.98 |
| Tax Fraud Pride Flag | 0.49% | $29.99 |
| USGI UCP Large Rucksack, Good Condition | 0.49% | $84.99 |
| Two Pack M81 Radio/Utility Pouch | 0.49% | $15.98 |
| Two-Pack USGI Tees | 0.49% | $15.98 |
| Blem USGI Roll-Up Sleeping Mat | 0.47% | $19.99 |
| Blem USGI Basic Duffle Bag | 0.47% | $19.99 |
| Blem Two-Pack USGI Waterproof Clothing Bag | 0.45% | $15.98 |
| USGI PRC Radio Pouch | 0.33% | $19.99 |
| Blem USGI Fliers Bag | 0.29% | $39.99 |
| Assorted Safariland Baton or Handcuff Pouch | 0.29% | $29.99 |
| Old Tee Design :) | 0.29% | $24.99 |
| USGI Mosquito Headnet | 0.24% | $9.99 |
| Blem Swiss Alpenflage M83 Field Pants | 0.24% | $14.99 |
| Blem USGI ESS Goggles | 0.24% | $24.99 |
| Three-Pack Blem USMC Coyote Brown STANAG Pouch | 0.22% | $12.97 |
| Czech M60 Canteen | 0.22% | $11.99 |
| Blem USGI M81 Woodland Woobie | 0.20% | $49.99 |
| USGI UCP TAP Rig | 0.20% | $35.00 |
| Blem USGI UCP Bivy Cover | 0.12% | $79.99 |
| USGI PolarTec Fleece Bib | 0.10% | $24.99 |
| USGI Tan Utility Coverall | 0.10% | $50.00 |
| USGI OCP TAP Rig (No Chest Harness Straps) | 0.08% | $69.99 |
| Blem MARPAT Wet Weather Poncho Liner | 0.08% | $44.99 |
| Blem Versengtarn Field Shirt | 0.08% | $59.99 |
| Blem USMC Coyote Brown Bivy Cover | 0.08% | $99.99 |
| USGI UCP TCP Med Bag | 0.08% | $79.99 |
| Blem USGI Enhanced Duffle Bag | 0.06% | $34.99 |
| Misc Bundeswehr Trail Shoes | 0.04% | $39.99 |
| USGI Flight Coverall | 0.04% | $75.00 |
| Blem USGI MultiCam Medic Bag | 0.02% | $100.00 |
